Floss and Errands
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I’ve been reading the Argentine papers in the morning with my coffee at this hostel, or rather, when I wake up which isn’t always in the morning (nor always in the first couple p.m. hours, tho I’ve been good lately, mostly motivated by the breakfast selection here). Today I was reading Clarín, a Buenos Aires daily that I quite like when the T.V. was on in the background, Dr.90210 to be specific, and this girl on the show says “I’m really excited because I’m gonna have facial procedures done,” then, “on my face.”
I don’t mind it, prefer it, possibly, definitely, having something on in the background but not this. I also want to go to the internet café and check email and messages and figure I should get up to speed on what’s going on back home. On the Yahoo! homepage the top headline reads Keep Him From Straying- this advice will help your man want to stay faithful to you >> 5 tips. Then below:
-Are you being too clingy?
-Flirting vs. Cheating
-7 cool midnight dates
This, I swear is what greets you today on Yahoo! This is at least Cosmo-ish, yesterday the top headline was Tommy Lee apologizes to MTV and Alicia Keys for brawl, but no kind words for Kid Rock, who he refers to(sadly I read the article) as “Kid Pebble”. The Spanish version of Yahoo! featured Brtiney Spears saying during her performance she looked like a pig, or a hog, or perhaps a boar, saying she looked like a boar, that one was in Spanish and I had to look up that word.
This English guy just walked into the internet café and likely thinking himself a multi-lingual savant, asked the woman at the desk “es posible for me to download some stuff?” and sassily doing this neck and shoulder thing she said “Que!?” and confidently he amended “can yo download from the In-Ter-Net?” Unwisely, I translated, ending what surely would have been a delicious succession.
Today, I actually have a frighteningly-long list of things to do. Usually my agenda, and I actually keep one on the calendar function on my cell phone, has “Read” which follows my preliminary alarm that, as it is set to wake me up, actually is alarming. That one says “Up n’ Out!” although the last time I can actually remember hearing that was the last time I was in this glorious city, some three months ago.
So today’s list reads “Floss, Pens, Read (a staple), Anne Oli, United, Phrases”. “Pens” refers to the three pens I need to buy ink for, two G2’s, one blue and one black, uni-ball Signo’s, and one Pentel EnerGel metal-tip, black, all of which are 0.7mm. There’s a stationery store on Avenida Sante Fe which I frequent, but they were out of the refills last time. Checking out stationery stores is one of the first things I do in a new city, and one of my favorite things to do. “Read” is self-explanatory. “Anne Oli” refers to two Belgian friends that I have, who I have to give recommendations to regarding some of my favorite New York spots, most of which will probably be places to eat, including my favorite bakery and such, neighborhoods and museums. “United” (family members please skip ahead directly to the next line) refers to the airline, which I have to call to push my ticket back, yet again. “Phrases” refers to phrases that I thought of last night while overly-caffeinated, lying on the top-bunk of a bed at the hostel in darkness and trying to sleep. I plan to use these in public, surrounded by English speakers, at some point today, possibly in a café where I know there will be some. These include: “I think my hamster, Jean-Michelle(said in an overly-articulated French accent), has cancer. I took Jean to the Vet for reconstructive surgery on a torn ligament, which by the way, occurred on that damn wheel, and, they found a lump. They’re giving him a couple years to live.” I’m also hoping to use “I think I’m gonna try abstinence. At least for the next, few hours, you know?”
“Floss” actually refers to a major dilemma. I actually have to go back to a pharmacy because that’s where they sell dental-floss here. I ran out a couple days ago and I tried to buy some yesterday, but it was too daunting. I have now come to really understand why rappers say, “flossin’ ain’t easy”. You tellin’ me. There’s the “Farmacity” generic brand, that comes with 25meters of dental floss and is a good deal I guess. There’s also the 50meter length, there’s a name brand which we’ll just say rhymes with “pole-gate” and contains two boxes, each 50meters long, so 100meters in total, and is way more expensive, but what I have normally used, and then the most expensive, the same name brand, the “pole-gate” has another version which we’ll call “pole-gate eight-ball”, which makes me think of a dodgy, sketchy strip-club, but is actually everything you would ever want in floss. It includes, in gleaming-holographic letters, new “floss-technology”. Now, I feel I should give my teeth the best, but I can be cheap with certain things, and isn’t dental-floss just fancy thread to stick between your teeth? But the name “Farmacity”, thoroughly depresses me. I hate anything that uses the words city, world, or universe in it. Names like computer-world, electro-universe, and salad-city, are supposed to entice you, signifying endless options of that particular thing, like how many more options can you have than a whole city of salads? Or a universe of electronics, that’s hard to top. For whatever reason these names just make me think of the 80’s and are just plain depressing. So faced with cheap (brain says good) “Farmacity” brand (power-down noises), “pole-gate” (sounds like political scandal, abort-abort), and “pole-gate eight-ball” (makes me think of strippers, brains says naked-women-good, eight-ball=dodgy, which might be exciting, but super-expensive for floss-per-meter-count, alas, power-down noises again). So defeated, I left the pharmacy confused, scared, and flossless, and now have that on my list of errands for today.
Once I was with my dad and brother, and my brother said he spent the day running errands, and my dad nodded understandingly, then asked what “errands” were. My brother explained, which was dangerous, because for the next two-months every weekend on the phone I would ask my dad what he was up to and he would say “Oh, just uh, errands. Errands, you know? Errands.” And then I would say “Oh, that’s nice” and then he would follow “you know what errands are, right? Errands?” –“Yes dad, yes. I know what errands are.” Unbelievably, this continued for two months until I would see his number on my caller ID and pick-up “dad I can’t talk right now I’m running errands” and he’d say “oh me too” or I’d pick up and say “Dad are you running errands? Do you want to call me back?” And he’d say “oh how did you know?”
.
I’ve been reading the Argentine papers in the morning with my coffee at this hostel, or rather, when I wake up which isn’t always in the morning (nor always in the first couple p.m. hours, tho I’ve been good lately, mostly motivated by the breakfast selection here). Today I was reading Clarín, a Buenos Aires daily that I quite like when the T.V. was on in the background, Dr.90210 to be specific, and this girl on the show says “I’m really excited because I’m gonna have facial procedures done,” then, “on my face.”
I don’t mind it, prefer it, possibly, definitely, having something on in the background but not this. I also want to go to the internet café and check email and messages and figure I should get up to speed on what’s going on back home. On the Yahoo! homepage the top headline reads Keep Him From Straying- this advice will help your man want to stay faithful to you >> 5 tips. Then below:
-Are you being too clingy?
-Flirting vs. Cheating
-7 cool midnight dates
This, I swear is what greets you today on Yahoo! This is at least Cosmo-ish, yesterday the top headline was Tommy Lee apologizes to MTV and Alicia Keys for brawl, but no kind words for Kid Rock, who he refers to(sadly I read the article) as “Kid Pebble”. The Spanish version of Yahoo! featured Brtiney Spears saying during her performance she looked like a pig, or a hog, or perhaps a boar, saying she looked like a boar, that one was in Spanish and I had to look up that word.
This English guy just walked into the internet café and likely thinking himself a multi-lingual savant, asked the woman at the desk “es posible for me to download some stuff?” and sassily doing this neck and shoulder thing she said “Que!?” and confidently he amended “can yo download from the In-Ter-Net?” Unwisely, I translated, ending what surely would have been a delicious succession.
Today, I actually have a frighteningly-long list of things to do. Usually my agenda, and I actually keep one on the calendar function on my cell phone, has “Read” which follows my preliminary alarm that, as it is set to wake me up, actually is alarming. That one says “Up n’ Out!” although the last time I can actually remember hearing that was the last time I was in this glorious city, some three months ago.
So today’s list reads “Floss, Pens, Read (a staple), Anne Oli, United, Phrases”. “Pens” refers to the three pens I need to buy ink for, two G2’s, one blue and one black, uni-ball Signo’s, and one Pentel EnerGel metal-tip, black, all of which are 0.7mm. There’s a stationery store on Avenida Sante Fe which I frequent, but they were out of the refills last time. Checking out stationery stores is one of the first things I do in a new city, and one of my favorite things to do. “Read” is self-explanatory. “Anne Oli” refers to two Belgian friends that I have, who I have to give recommendations to regarding some of my favorite New York spots, most of which will probably be places to eat, including my favorite bakery and such, neighborhoods and museums. “United” (family members please skip ahead directly to the next line) refers to the airline, which I have to call to push my ticket back, yet again. “Phrases” refers to phrases that I thought of last night while overly-caffeinated, lying on the top-bunk of a bed at the hostel in darkness and trying to sleep. I plan to use these in public, surrounded by English speakers, at some point today, possibly in a café where I know there will be some. These include: “I think my hamster, Jean-Michelle(said in an overly-articulated French accent), has cancer. I took Jean to the Vet for reconstructive surgery on a torn ligament, which by the way, occurred on that damn wheel, and, they found a lump. They’re giving him a couple years to live.” I’m also hoping to use “I think I’m gonna try abstinence. At least for the next, few hours, you know?”
“Floss” actually refers to a major dilemma. I actually have to go back to a pharmacy because that’s where they sell dental-floss here. I ran out a couple days ago and I tried to buy some yesterday, but it was too daunting. I have now come to really understand why rappers say, “flossin’ ain’t easy”. You tellin’ me. There’s the “Farmacity” generic brand, that comes with 25meters of dental floss and is a good deal I guess. There’s also the 50meter length, there’s a name brand which we’ll just say rhymes with “pole-gate” and contains two boxes, each 50meters long, so 100meters in total, and is way more expensive, but what I have normally used, and then the most expensive, the same name brand, the “pole-gate” has another version which we’ll call “pole-gate eight-ball”, which makes me think of a dodgy, sketchy strip-club, but is actually everything you would ever want in floss. It includes, in gleaming-holographic letters, new “floss-technology”. Now, I feel I should give my teeth the best, but I can be cheap with certain things, and isn’t dental-floss just fancy thread to stick between your teeth? But the name “Farmacity”, thoroughly depresses me. I hate anything that uses the words city, world, or universe in it. Names like computer-world, electro-universe, and salad-city, are supposed to entice you, signifying endless options of that particular thing, like how many more options can you have than a whole city of salads? Or a universe of electronics, that’s hard to top. For whatever reason these names just make me think of the 80’s and are just plain depressing. So faced with cheap (brain says good) “Farmacity” brand (power-down noises), “pole-gate” (sounds like political scandal, abort-abort), and “pole-gate eight-ball” (makes me think of strippers, brains says naked-women-good, eight-ball=dodgy, which might be exciting, but super-expensive for floss-per-meter-count, alas, power-down noises again). So defeated, I left the pharmacy confused, scared, and flossless, and now have that on my list of errands for today.
Once I was with my dad and brother, and my brother said he spent the day running errands, and my dad nodded understandingly, then asked what “errands” were. My brother explained, which was dangerous, because for the next two-months every weekend on the phone I would ask my dad what he was up to and he would say “Oh, just uh, errands. Errands, you know? Errands.” And then I would say “Oh, that’s nice” and then he would follow “you know what errands are, right? Errands?” –“Yes dad, yes. I know what errands are.” Unbelievably, this continued for two months until I would see his number on my caller ID and pick-up “dad I can’t talk right now I’m running errands” and he’d say “oh me too” or I’d pick up and say “Dad are you running errands? Do you want to call me back?” And he’d say “oh how did you know?”
.
posted by Matt In The Hat | 3:01 PM
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